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A promise is a promise.

7 Dec

Every.Dang.Year.  When I get out the Christmas decorations, I promise myself that I will be organized when I take them down.  And yet a quick 3-4 months later, I find myself scrambling to rip down the holly and box up the elves to make way for pastel colored Easter eggs and chocolate bunnies.  In my haste, the Christmas boxes and baubles are packed up with less organization than a squirrel’s winter nut stash.

And the cycle repeats itself the next December when all 444 boxes are hauled out again.  Gah!  Once again, major Kay-fail.

How important is it to keep promises?  I have always believed it is Super important!!  I don’t even remember being taught this so it must have been early on in my formative years (Thanks Mom for raising me to be a good human bean).

When I make a promise to someone, I move heaven and earth to keep it.  <insert tiny little voice that I imagine people use in confessional booths> Except those promises that I make to myself.

I promise to drink more water……I promise to stop impulse buying…..I promise to pay bills early….I promise to meal plan….I promise to take a trip that requires getting on a plane…I promise to eat just one chip….I promise to just run the dryer to dry the clothes and not to unwrinkled them…I promise to go to bed at the end of this chapter…I promise no more Hallmark Christmas movie tears…I promise to say no…I promise….

LIES! LIES! LIES! 

My pants aren’t just smokin’!  Those babies are a pile of ashes!

Have you heard the saying “you teach people how to treat you”?  All those lies that I have told myself for YEARS; all those broken promises; they have taught me not to believe myself.  Well that stinks.  If I don’t believe me, who do I believe?  Social media? TV and movies? The weather girl?

I’m not big on New Years Resolutions but I do like to take a look backward for a quick minute to see if there is anything that could use some attention.  It’s  not a new idea, but I kinda like the idea of a “word” or “phrase” for the next year.  Have you chosen a word or phrase instead of a resolution?  Did you notice an impact?  I tried a word generator and it says my word is OPEN.  Well, let’s be honest here, first it said JUMP and we all know I don’t jump.   I’m not sure what my word/phrase will be year but I’m going to give it a good think.

And I’m going to start keeping my promises to myself.  I promise.

Chocolate chips and Swedish death cleaning

15 Jul

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Seriously!  What was I thinking?  So, yeah.  10 bags of chips!  The cookie kind!  I don’t even remember buying them.  I am sure that I did buy them.  Did I buy a bag or two in multiple trips or all at once?  Did the clerk wonder about me when I walked out with 10 bags of chips?  I wonder about me sometimes!

Was it for a specific tasty treat that called for 10 bags of chips that never got made?  Or is this the leftovers that I didn’t use?  I hope it was a double batch of deliciousness!  Yummy Milk Chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, tasty Reece’s peanut butter chips, silky ghiradelli dark chocolate chips OH MY!

Sadly this is just one cupboard.  I have several.  My home came equipped with several closets too, and an unfinished room (perfect for storage) that was once a 2nd story porch, a basement, garage, clubhouse, potting shed, and a machine shed.

SERIOUSLY!!  Every nook and cranny is filled with junk, treasures, busted stuff, stuff with price tags still on it,  crafting supplies for crafts that were finished, never started and/or unfinished, things used once and ready and waiting to be used again etc etc etc.   UGH!  30+ years of accumulation.  The detritus of living a blessed life.

I have options.  There is always options!  Short of reporting myself to the reality show Hoarders, my options are this:  continue buying and stashing, stop buying and leave the existing problem for my kids to deal with, or change my ways and clear out the clutter.  Fine. <insert heavy sigh>

I came across a book titled “The gentle art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson.  I like the word “Gentle”.   Seems like that would also mean relatively painless.   I like to avoid pain.  The premise is to edit your stuff while you are alive to make it easier for those that would be responsible for handling your affairs after your death.  I am drawn to living a carefully and thoughtfully edited life.

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Now please don’t get the wrong idea.  I will never willingly become a minimalist although I understand it and even have some envy.  That just isn’t me.  I do think that I could reduce my stuff by at least 50% and not miss that 50%.  I bet my checkbook would love a rest too!  I’m gonna work on this.  Gently.

there is lots of clutter in my head too.  Loads of closets full of things that no longer appeal to my heart.  Stories and baggage and experiences that really aren’t mine.  Perspectives that don’t fit me any more.  Negative self talk, self sabotage, and over-thinking no longer belong in my closet.  I’m working on this too.  Gently.

Have you cleared out your closet?  Who needs some cookie chips?

hello?

6 Jul

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i have control issues. there i said it.

20 Dec

so i don’t use cruise control very often on my vehicle even though i’ve had it ever since i can remember. and i don’t speed. this totally drives the mr. crazy. i go exactly what the speed limit is. not one mile more and not one mile less (please stay off the road if you go 2 miles under the limit on the days that i’m driving!). if i’m speeding it’s completely by accident (honest mr. occifer). i don’t “trust” the cruise control. when you’re heading down a hill, it gets going faster than you’ve set it due to….gravity maybe?. and when you’re going UP a hill, it slows a bit and then VAROOM it punches it down to catch up. i like to be in control. 🙂 those of you snickering can stop it right now.

so i FINALLY got myself set up with googlereader. i’ve been meaning to do it for a while but needed to marinate on it (read procrastinate) for a bit. i had been screaming through the blogs periodically looking for updates using both the MQR blog ring and my bookmarks. i tried to do it everyday (just on account that i’m nosy) but the ring and my list is just getting too long to get it done in one sitting. so i dutifully added all those addresses into my googlereader thing. and each day, i just have to check that and it tells me if anyone has updated their blogs. how excited was i to check that the first time?!?

i don’t trust it. (surprise!) only a few blogs are updated. i figure i must have done something wrong when inputing my information. so i run the blog ring and my bookmarks. nope, googlereader is working…..yous guys are just not updating much. or maybe i was just re-reading posts and enjoying them a second time without realizing i had already read it.

at any rate. i have cruise control but i use my foot peddle. i have google reader but i use the ring and my bookmarks. yeah, i have issues.

what? no obituaries?

13 Dec

how can that be? no local deaths for today’s issue? or did the list get cut? is in an online quirk?

odd.

put this in your pie hole.

1 Dec

so i almost dropped one of the balls i constantly toss in the air. in fact, i probably did actually drop it but i caught it on the bounce so does it really count? probably.

anaway (what i really mean is anyway, but gramcracker has kind of a german way of saying that so it sounds like “anaway”….and i like it)

anaway….i bought 10 books today. from 2 different stores. no, i’m not going on vacation to recline on some tropical beach and read romance novels. and i don’t typically buy my books in bulk…it’s about the dropped-i mean bouncing-ball.

so i’m trying to scan-i mean read- at least some of these books. the one i’m reading now is called “yup, nope, maybe” a woman’s guide to getting more out of the language of men. GASP okay i’m done choking with laughter….language? men? seriously?. it’s written by two guys: stephen james and david thomas. okay……does anyone else find it interesting when people have 2 first names. or what about the tom thomas’s, or john johnson’s of the world. would it turn the world topsy turvy if you have a first name for a last name that you chose a last name for your kids first name? and did you ever notice that i only notice this about guy names? i never wonder about the amy carey’s, or the brigitte ….yeah, that’s all i got.

anaway……the books references the time honored story of adam and eve and although the point is not to place blame in this book….it reminds me of an argument-disagreement-discussion that i was involved in once about it being more eve’s fault because she brought the apple to adam and convinced him to eat it thereby not only sinning herself but dragging an innocent into sinning as well.

scott’s favorite pie is blueberry but for the sake of parallelism let’s pretend it’s apple. i was pretty sure that scott was a bum once so i did a little test. even tho “apple” pie is his favorite, i was pretty sure that i could bake an “apple” pie and unless i actually cut it, put in on a plate and handed it to him with a fork, he would never eat a piece. needless to say, the pie grew mold. (i was right. you knew i would be didn’t you. this is MY blog after all) so you might be thinking i’ve totally gone off on a tangent not related to the bouncing ball. (you’re probably right)

HOWEVER, my point is this: get off eve’s back. if not for her; all the fruit in the garden would probably have rotted on the vine before adam would have gotten up out of the easy chair and picked a pies-worth.

“now who wants pie?” she says in her best Mrs. Cleaver imitation.

is it still paranoia

2 Nov

if people really ARE out to get you? and by you i mean me. and i don’t mean out to get me in big ways like james bond in license to kill or anything. or even in nemo with the dentists mean child. those two examples were extremes and peoples (well a fish’s) lives were in jeopardy. didn’t you just love dori? focus kay.

with me it’s just my mental stability. which many would question if the word stability is overstating things. stop laughing. i mean it.

see if this sounds vaguely familiar to you. think movies. i wake up in the morning. the phone rings and i have a perfectly lovely conversation with my sister kris who is in australia. it’s bedtime for her and awake time for me. we chat. we chat about very normal mundane things…whadja do last night? did you quilt? are your pages done yet? did you exercise? what’s happening on y&r (in case you’re wondering australia y & r is signifantly behind the us) etc. after 30 or 40 minutes, she says well i gotta go and we disconnect. 5 minutes later my phone rings again. it’s kris. whadja do last night? did you quilt? are your pages done yet?…… i’m stunned for just a moment. so THIS is what daja voo is. i REMEMBER this exact conversation. i was THERE. i know EXACTLY what she is going to say next. i think i’m clarvoiant. maybe i can read minds! and then she laughs. said she thought she’d rung off abruptly and decided to call back and end the call appropriately. and i guess she just decided to mess with my mind while she was doing it. that’s mean.

so i mentioned the “pages”. it’s a little project that i’ll tell you more about later this week (interesting since today is already thursday and it’s mostly over already so that only leaves me a couple of days….i work well under pressure) anyhoo…..the pages. to do my “pages” i requested photos of the other 11 participants. i got most of them. last week i FINALLY got a couple of stragglers. the comment with the photos was “how about these” and showed one of the page people very happy with a beer in her hand. i responded to the photos saying they were perfect and why wasn’t i invited to the the party. by reply email i received incriminating pictures proving that i had indeed been invited to the party. there will be no more about that later. yesterday i received another email with the original photos and the comments of “how about these”. i swear

i think i’m in the mole movie. you know where the person wakes up each morning and the day is the same as the day before. and it’s all about whether the rodent sees it’s shadow or some crap like that. are you people trying to screw with me? come on! i’m hanging on by the chin hair i just found today. now that was annoying.