c a n ‘ t b r e a t h e

12 Feb

it’s cold. i don’t know how cold. i don’t even WANT to know how cold. it’s just cold. it’s so cold that when you breathe it really fast (like when you are being chased by a bear or when you are shoveling the snow) it freezes your breathing parts.

i am procrastinating. i don’t wanna go outside. i know i have to but i don’t want to because i know what i will find. snow. and wind. and snow and wind. crap.

a couple days ago, i spent 250 of my hard earned dollars (okay, scott hard earned them) having a nice fella move the snow off the driveways and out of the yard. this irritates the mister so i try to do it judiciously since as a general rule, i’d rather be the one cranky and mad than have to deal with him being cranky and mad. and yesterday i find freaking little finger drifts from you guessed it the “wind and snow”. crap. so since i didn ‘t want to spend another fist full of hard earned dollars so soon, i humped out there and shoveled the finger drifts. there were big ones and small ones and by the time i finished the main driveway (which btb is 10,000 feet long. okay it would have to be 10,000 baby pigmy feet but still) i couldn’t breathe. so for 2 hours i sounded like a wounded seal. nice. and just when i thought i was about to land a singing contract.

and i wasn’t happy about it. when i’m not happy, i’m not nice (that’s a little secret so keep it under your hats).

so last night i’m sitting on the couch all bundled up in a quilt and my wool shawl and i glance out the window. i see the taillights of a vehicle trying to drive down our neighbor’s drive way. for just a second, i hoped they got stuck. you see, mr. neighbor has the same mentality as mr. scott. why push the snow around when it will eventually melt and then your money was for nothing. so for that split second, i hoped they’d get stuck. COME ON! it’s not like they’d freeze to death or anything, they’re right next to their house! still, not nice. i just want a little vindication folks.

so i’m putting off going outside and getting all mad again. i’ve cleaned the kitchen, read a book…not the WHOLE book, but several pages, started laundry and took a bubble bath.

remember when you were a kid and your mom gave you baths? remember when she would wash your hair and use the bubbles to make funny shapes with your hair? like spikes and curly whops? and beards and mustaches? i do.



5 Responses to “c a n ‘ t b r e a t h e”

  1. Jan February 12, 2008 at 5:13 pm #

    Oh the cabana boy has that same mentality. It’s why I am not allowed to spend a whopping $100 for the snow blade for the tractor….. and it’s been the source of a few disagreements around here. Stay inside!! Go to the bubbles!! Take a hot cup of something with you!!!!

  2. Sybil February 12, 2008 at 6:41 pm #

    OMG! That picture of you with bubbles is so totally funny! You look like a demented Santa. (Ok, well perhaps I know your mental state so that’s where teh ‘demented’ comes from…..).

    Sorry it’s so cold.
    Spring is coming.
    Where’s the ground hog when you need him?

  3. Kelly February 13, 2008 at 3:00 pm #

    Santa? Santa is that you?

  4. Snort February 13, 2008 at 4:09 pm #

    Okay….. I really think it’s hilarious that you took your camera into the bathroom with you. The picture is way too funny!

  5. myolivebranch February 14, 2008 at 2:49 pm #

    demented, santa,? how rude.

    and i don’t know what you are talking about :”taking the camera into the bathroom with you”….this was the picture that was mailed to me when i got caught on one of those speed cams. i was doing 75 bubbles in a 45 bubble zone.

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