missing camera found

28 Aug

so yeah some fool had actually put it away. what is up with that? how am i supposed to find something if it’s put in it’s place? it’s SUPPOSED to be in the last place i used it. like on the dining room table which is rarely used to eat at. mostly it’s used to keep the mail and crap up off the floor. or beside the computer buried under all the print outs that I know I must have…..who had possession of my brain when i printed out “100 tips to make your yard a show stopper”…..hello, we live in the country. i’m allergic to grass. i don’t like to sweat. i’m never going to have a show stopper yard. i’m just glad when it’s green…i don’t particularly care if the green is grass or weeds.

ian and i wheeled around the yard the other day and this is what we found. i suppose it’s some type of fungus.
img_1051.jpg img_1052.jpg

so i hope it’s not a killing fungus. i do like my trees. they make good shade (it’s what trees are born to do). and we already lost one tree many years ago. doodleleedo doodleleedo (go back with me into a distant memory)

let’s just say i blame scott. this is normal. it just is what it is.

crystal was oh i don’t know i suppose maybe 12 or 13 and learning to drive. scott is very confident in his driving abilities. so much so that he can drive himself and at the same time, educate other drivers using hand signals. he’s amazing. So as crystal and her dad head out the door for some educatin’ I hop in the bath for some bubble time. so, for whatever reason and i’ve been unable to find one; scott decides it would be a good idea for crystal to learn to drive a standard transmission vehicle. oh look! we happen to have old blue hanging about in the corn crib just waiting to go for a spin. old blue was my dad’s truck. it’s enourmous. it a 1966 Dodge 1 ton truck. and as the norm for vehicles of that era ..no power steering or power brakes. i know you all see disaster heading our way.

the phone rings and i decide i must haul myself out covered in bubbles (and a towel, don’t be ridiculous) and answer the phone. i’m standing in the kitchen looking out the big dining room window with a perfect view of the tree that used to be next to the one with the fungus on it. i hear old blue roaring up and down the gravel road we live on. and pretty soon old blue roars into the yard and SMACK into the tree. i’m just in shock. and yet old blue doesn’t stop after running SMACK into the tree. old blue tries to CLIMB the tree. ROAR and it lifts about 3ft up the trunk of the tree. and BANG as it falls back to the ground. ROAR as it tries it again. and BANG. several times it does this while i am frozen to my spot with the telephone in my hand. i scream. my baby is in danger! i race back to the bathroom to put on my clothes and by the time i am dressed, scott and crystal are in the house and a beautiful tree has had it’s bark stripped on one side.

apparently crystal got a bit confused after running into the tree. she confused the brake with the gas. easy to do. they are located right next to one another. and apparently i was the only one who panic’d. they are both howling with laughter. after crystal hit the tree, each time she hit the gas instead of the brake, scott would calmly say, “that’s the gas. hit the brake.” “nope, that’s the gas again. hit the brake.” “gas again.” “move your foot over a little for the brake.” nope, that’s the gas, try again for the brake” “no, gas again” I don’t know if she eventually found the brake or if blue gave up trying to climb the tree.

both scott and crystal survived this driving lesson. sadly, the tree did not. and that is why the tree with the fungas stands alone.

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10 Responses to “missing camera found”

  1. Suzanne August 28, 2007 at 10:11 pm #

    roflmao.

  2. sybil August 29, 2007 at 4:28 am #

    yeah, no matter how many times I hear this story, I still laugh!

  3. KK August 29, 2007 at 5:48 am #

    oh, my sides are splitting and my face is hurting – but my headache that had me up in middle of night is cured! What a story.

  4. mum August 29, 2007 at 3:03 pm #

    super grandma – that’s some scary fungus – better stay away from it! what a delightful story to tell over and over – reminds me of my experience with sybil’s first trip down the blacktop and Kelly’s joy swerving back and forth in the backseat.

  5. mszig August 29, 2007 at 6:50 pm #

    That’s great… when I was 16 I ran over a stop sign with my moms station wagon because I confused the brake and the gas… LOL… I finally told my mom about that when I was 32!

  6. Nancy Hughson August 31, 2007 at 12:10 am #

    I searched your fungi & found it! Can you believe “chicken of the woods?” Edible too. Wonder if it tastes like chicken? lol It’s probably best eaten after run over by car. :)http://www.mushroomexpert.com/laetiporus_sulphureus.html

  7. mkak August 31, 2007 at 1:38 am #

    I can remember that joy ride with Sybil – she always was a little heavy on the right foot (but I guess she’s the one that taught me how to drive in her blue ford LTD – thanks Sybil I owe all my driving skills to you! Way to go mama you are signed in – lookout I can feel another blogger…..

  8. Sybil August 31, 2007 at 4:05 am #

    I also remember the wild trip to town with Chumbly sliding back and forth across the back seat….squeeling as if she was on the best roller coaster ride she could imagine. And mom, calm and cool, “take both feet off the pedals, Kris”. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill us all.

  9. myolivebranch August 31, 2007 at 11:37 am #

    thanks nancy. i do believe it must be “chicken of the woods” i’m going to pass on cooking up a bunch though!

  10. Bug September 6, 2007 at 12:43 pm #

    Thanks, Mom! Oh my goodness, you made me laugh. What a great way to start tge day šŸ™‚ Probably a good thing I don’t drive anymore…

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